a bit more.
I've been a little absent from the blog. I know. There's been a lot going on in our lives. I wanted to give you all a little update on our journey (back story here and here). Our 2nd IVF was not successful. I'm realizing now that I may have not even said we were going to do a second round. We did. We started ALL over again. More drugs, another egg retrieval, another round with our hearts on the line. And this time, none of our fertilized embryos even made it to transfer day. We found out the first week of July. It was a hard thing to hear. But here we are. I've had some time to process all of this and am coming out on the other side feeling ok. I'm not going to sugar coat this, I am STILL sad. Sometimes I just try to appear to everyone else that all of this is not hurting me. That I am "totally fine". That I know "everything is going to be great and work out". But you know what, sometimes I don't feel that way. And I think that it is ok. It's all part of the process. We are looking into other options (so many wonderful and amazing options that are out there for us, that I feel so incredibly lucky to have), but it still hurts. It hurts beyond belief to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never carry my own child. I am slowly and surely letting go of the fact that I will probably never experience pregnancy. And you know what, most times I am ok with it. Most times, all I think about is...I want to be a mom and I want G to be a dad. And whatever way that happens for us, I know we will be beyond thrilled. But I think it is ok to mourn what we thought this journey was going to look like. I think it's important for me to acknowledge it here. I also want to acknowledge all of the amazing support that we have had throughout this process. Our family, friends, and even people we barely know, have reached out to us...and I must say that it means so very much to us. We will get there. We know it. We will one day have our happy little family.
{photo by me}
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Reader Comments (4)
Love you both so much! This was definitely hard to read but so proud of you for getting it out. However a child comes to be with you & G that baby will be one of the lucky ones to have such amazing parents to guide him or her.
Oh Sweet Myka, your words break my heart as I've been silently rooting for you on the sidelines this whole time. You are brave to share your feelings, and I imagine there are those still suffering who appreciate knowing they are not alone. I wish you so much joy in the journey of discovering YOUR WAY to grow your family. Cheering your names- wishing for happy endings! xoxo
xoxoxoxo Sending you lots of love and hugs on this journey.
Myka,
I love the honesty in your post. I can only imagine how difficult the journey has been. I saw my sister go through it but I know it's different for everyone. I am not a religious person but I do believe in the journey (bare with me, I won't get too mushy) and I truly believe that what you've been through will give make the next steps of your journey that much more rich & rewarding. I have seen both sides and I have to say, it's all love & family and it ALL changes you in ways you would never expect. All good things to you & George... I'm sending some positive thoughts out there for you both.
:) Mariam